Archive for the ‘Goofy thoughts’ Category

It’s Grant Morrison’s world, we just live in it

November 26, 2007

For a year from September 2005, under the nose of the Panthéon’s unsuspecting security officials, a group of intrepid “illegal restorers” set up a secret workshop and lounge in a cavity under the building’s famous dome. Under the supervision of group member Jean-Baptiste Viot, a professional clockmaker, they pieced apart and repaired the antique clock that had been left to rust in the building since the 1960s. Only when their clandestine revamp of the elaborate timepiece had been completed did they reveal themselves.

Klausmann and his crew are connaisseurs [sic] of the Parisian underworld. Since the 1990s they have restored crypts, staged readings and plays in monuments at night, and organised rock concerts in quarries. The network was unknown to the authorities until 2004, when the police discovered an underground cinema, complete with bar and restaurant, under the Seine. They have tried to track them down ever since.

I repeat: the police discovered an underground cinema, complete with bar and restaurant under the Seine, run by guerrilla monument restorers.

Full story at the Guardian. Tell me this doesn’t read like something straight out of The Invisibles, only with less claptrap about futurism or the occult.


“Regular” readers of this blog will know that I’m fond of silly neologisms (and that I’m “also” as fond “of” misplaced “quotes” as “Geo. Herriman”). Well, I’ve just found my new favourite new phrase: “Shy Schlumpfs in Specs Comix” (h/t JK Parkin) It sort of overlaps with “Cancer Comics” and “boring, shitty art comics”, but has a more specific meaning. As defined by its coiner:

“The rough gist is this: comic book artist, who is (like most comic book artists) a shy schlumpf in specs, mooches around feeling sorry for himself, worries that he might be too self-obsessed, has a short and self-loathing infatuation with a girl, returns to drawing board, creates comic describing the aforegoing events.”


Oh, yes.

Not that all SSS Comix are bad; the author mentions R Crumb, and Chris Ware is surely very similar. But it’s a great inflammatory and reductive put-down.

I must steal it and claim credit for it immediately.


On the cutting edge of relevance

March 8, 2007

Dick Hyacinth asked people last week for more hilarious and original parodies of Marvel’s recent cross-over Civil War. One week later, the best entries would win a prize!

Well, I think that’s what he said; I don’t read too good. Anyway, my picture below is all the more relevant now that there’s a new “meme” sweeping the interblogosphere (someone died, I guess?) and everyone’s already forgotten how much they hated/loved Civil War #7.

BTW, you probably can’t tell, but this was created in MS Paint, not Photoshop. I hope it still counts!


It’s been a week now, Dick, so how about it–do I win a Bloody Shirt? Or at least a No-Prize?

Next week: I post panels from Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen with humorous commentary, and prove that bold text is always funny. Also–did somebody say “Green Goblin ‘o’ face”?*

* NB: I am lying.

Clash of the independent titans!

February 27, 2007

You may have heard of this project, Battle of the Independents, projected to appear in 2008. The basic idea behind it is this: “Why should Marvel and DC be the only companies with big stupid cross-overs? If only there were a cross-over between ‘independent’ characters!”

I barely registered this dopy conceit until I saw this article. Among the characters who’ll apparently be teaming up, fighting one another, then fighting some invincible cosmic menace or other, only to save the day at the last minute through some barely explained deus ex machina:


Savage Dragon




That’s right, the earth-pig born will live again! This can only mean two things:

1) The third issue of the series will be an all-text extravaganza in which the writer rails against the homosexualist-feminist axis, while praising US efforts in the “war on terror” as the expression of God’s will

2) If Cerebus is involved, then other genuine independents can’t be far behind.

Come on, I want to see Maggie and Hopey versus Jimmy Corrigan! Killofer versus the Superfuckers! Sinus O’Gynus and Loady McGee versus David B’s epileptic brother! It’s the battle of the century!

PS: I actually like Cerebus, even after the infamous #186.

And then I would introduce a character called “Mary-Sue”, who would totally rock

February 21, 2007

A propos Bat-Mite: Year One, more “Year One” books that wouldn’t suck:

Superman, written the way he was when he started out. A fighting mad liberal who’d beat the hell out of racketeers, war profiteers and slumlords, then go and trap some plutocrats down a collapsed mine. Have some truth, social justice and the New Deal way, capitalist pigs!

Wonder Woman, also in the original style. Wholesome, kinky fun for the whole family. Drawn by Melinda Gebbie.

Runaways, back when little Molly was just a twinkle in her parents’ gametes, and the rest of the kids were wearing nappies (that’s “diapers” to you Americans). Written and drawn by Jack Mendelsohn.

Uncle Scrooge. Oh wait, there’s already a pair of young Scrooge books, and they’re excellent.

And, all right, yeah, I’d buy more early Batman stories by Tony Millionaire.

Any other suggestions?