It’s at times like these that I miss Fanboy Rampage

As everyone knows by now, some stupid judge on Wednesday decided to destroy Superman by handing him over to the money-grubbing, undeserving heirs of some schmuck who barely had anything to do with making Superman great. And you know who will pay for this? The fans, that’s who. Goddamn Siegels, sticking it to the fans.

Oh, wait, you didn’t know that? Man, you must not have read this blog@newsarama thread, then. But of course you haven’t read it. If you had, you would have committed hara-kari in shame over being associated in any way with this hobby, and then you wouldn’t be reading this very blog entry.

I wonder how many people are like me here–I’m more familiar with the fictional history of the injustices suffered by Siegel and Shuster than with the actual history. That’s the fictional history presented by Michael Chabon in The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay and Rick Veitch in Maximortal. And this legal decision is one hell of a victory for the good guys, if that fictional history bears any resemblance to the actual one–as it surely does. Well, apart from the monstrous homunculus whose kryptonite is human faeces.

Anyway, I just wanted to share two of the highlights from that thread, for anyone who for some crazy reason baulks at trawling through the approximately nine-thousand other comments. First, Abhay, as usual, knows the score:

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THE FACTS, HISTORY OR LEGAL ISSUES BUT I HAVE AN OPINION ANYWAYS! LET’S HUG! LET’S HUG WITH OUR TONGUES!”

Amazingly, Abhay makes this gag well before the clusterfuckery comes out in full force. It’s almost like he can tell teh futare! But even Abhay’s comment gets topped by this comment later on from “Jerk-El”:

“OH NOES! I MUST HAS MY SUPERMANS! IF I NOE HAS MY SUPERMANS I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE WHITE WEE-WEE AT NITE!!

IF THEYS BAD SIEG-ELS TAKES MY SUPEMRMANS AWAYS FROM ALL-GOOD AND MIGHTY AND WEALTHY DC COMICKS WHAT THEN? WHAT THEN?

I GO MAKE WHITE WEE-WEE NOW WHILE I STILL HAS MY SUPERMANS!”

Now that’s entertainment.

(Allcaps in the original)

Advertisements

4 Responses to “It’s at times like these that I miss Fanboy Rampage”

  1. Dick Hyacinth Says:

    I’m glad that everyone almost immediately realized how terrible that comments thread was. The best (by which I mean worst) comment is a recent one from a dude who wants to celebrate his fidelity to the character above all other superheroes:

    I’m not a legal expert, I’m a Superman fan of 30 years. Most of the people on this board have no idea what that kind of loyalty is like. Superman, for all of the characters flaws, has been a major part of my life. As my father passed his love of the character to me, I hope to pass that same passion on to my children….

    While I am hopeful, I am also pragmatic. This case has never been about anything more than money. Sure the change in Copyright Law opened the door, but let’s face facts: Not once in the years of legal action has one family member mentioned any interest in the character. As a matter of fact, on FOX news, just after the verdict was announced, The Family appeared and expressed joy at the monetary aspect of this case. Nothing was said about the Character, as far as “maintaining the legacy” goes. They don’t care.

    And then he starts talking about Pokemon and Dora the Explorer.

  2. Tucker Stone Says:

    No fucking way does he start talking about Pokemon and Dora the Explorer.

  3. Tucker Stone Says:

    Holy shit, he really does start talking about Pokemon and Dora the Explorer, and he even throws out a “think of the children” at the end! I’ve never wanted to not read a comic book this much ever in my life.

  4. Jog Says:

    What this situation really needs right now is one of Kelly’s editorial cartoons in The Onion, depicting a battered Superman laying dead on the steps of the Daily Planet, the grinning, rotten corpse of Jerry Siegel (labeled as such) cackling above him while Lady Liberty weeps in the background. Kelly frowns at the reader:

    “Truth and justice, huh?”

    Don’t let us down, Kelly.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: